PreCognitive Science Online

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	Brain parts sort of involved in PreCognition: An fMRI study Mi Brian Hertz, Ee.G Department of PreCognitive Science, UC3D We compared brain activity in clairvoyants v. normals during a seeing task and a task involving whistling Dixie while trying to drink water. Although there were no statistical differences between any brain regions under any conditions, microscopic absolute value differences were artificially enhanced using a rainbow palette, and the prettiest patterns appeared in the cingulate cortex, and in some ventral frontal backal medial dorsal thingie with a fake latin name, indicating special involvement of those areas in our opinion. We concoct an elaborate fairy tale about why this should be the case.

	What do seers really see? An investigation into the qualia of precognition W.V.E. Dented Chamberpot Program in ParaPhilosophy and Communication Disorder, CU3D? Um, I'm not clairvoyant myself, but, um, I think I can make things up as good as anyone, so I think that it's, like, sort of like knowing, but sort of not knowing at the same time, and when you see, you know, you sort of know that you see, but not really, like, through your eyes, 'cause you wouldn't know. Would you? Maybe. See, I don't know.

	A correspondence F. Nastrod, Ph.D San Francisco, CA

	News Flash! UCLA Creates World's First Formal Precognitive Science Program! The University of California at Los Angeles, one of the world's most prestigious research universities, has a formal Precognitive Science program, closely related to the University's Cognitive Science program. From the University's web site: "Students need to file a petition in the Undergraduate Advising Office to declare the Precognitive Science major. They are then identified as Precognitive Science majors...."

	Vhat it is like to be a bat! Count Dracula, D.Phlebotomy Gotham City I addrress von of the most wexing qvestions of modern Prrecognitive Scienz: "Even if I could by grradual degrrees be trransformed into a bat, nodding in my prresent constitution enables me to imagine vhat de experriences of such a future stage of myself thus metamorrphosed vould be like. De best evidence vould come frrom de experriences of bats, if ve only knew vhat dey verre like." - Thomas Nagel Vhat is it like to be a bat?

	What a waste it is to lose one's mind, Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. Dan (Qualia) Quayle, f.V.P. Former U.S. Vice-President We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made. I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future. If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. How true it is!

	A complete, working humanoid robot, including electronic brain. Brit Skoor, M.D., his family, and the neighborhood kids His garage We built a complete working electronic human, including an exact electronic model of the human brain, from parts we found laying around. The system developed like a child over 15 years, over which period some ~6.02E23 parameters were fitted. (Thanks go to our family, and to the next door neighbor's kids for extensive home schooling and robot sitting.) The system now holds a 3.6GPA as a junior in High School. Unfortunately, because we cannot analyze it without interfering with its function, and since all we did was copy the basic circuitry of a real brain, and because we can't restart the experiment without waiting another 15 years for the results, we learned little of scientific merit. Oh well.